DIFFICULTIES AND VICTORIES
In retrospect this has been another difficult month. There
were lots of trials and much wearyness. However my spirit is strong even though my body is weak and drained. But by God's
strength I am pressing on and trusting in the Lord. And there were some wonderful spiritual victories, too.
I am always victorious because it is the Holy Spirit who sustains
me. My Defender, the Lord Jesus, fights all my battles. He is my Shield and Buckler, my rock and Refuge, and even my Strong
Neveretheless, it seems that these days I am going from trial
to trial, and tribulation to tribulation with few or no breaks in between.
Yet I am also going from glory to glory. As the apostle Paul
has said in the Bible, "for our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal
weight of glory. (2 Coritnthians 4:17)
And only a short while ago I finished a letter to a Native
American friend and brother in Christ, who lives on the Rosebud Indian Reservation in South Dakota. He also seems to be undergoing
struggles. So I tried to encourage him with the encouragement I received from God.
I have been making intercessory prayers for him as well as
for those who are living on reservations acrosss the United States and Canada. I prayed that the Holy Spirit will do a deep
and special work in their hearts.
May God's Spirit continue to convict of sin and open hearts
to receive and believe the everlasting and unchanging Gospel of Jesus Christ. Amen!
December 28, 2002
This is not an upbeat or much welcomed message for the new
year. However it is what the Holy Spirit impressed upon my heart today after a time of prayer.
The world system is beginning to display an increasingly intensifying
fury against God. Some people are going wild with rage even seeing a simple "Nativity Scene" outside of a public library or
in a park.
Be prepared for a tremendous onslaught of demonic forces to
come against the church, especially against the church's leaders, evangelists, and all godly men and women who love Jesus
Christ, and who are truly living for Him.
Lying spirits and spirits of anger and confusion are everywhere
these days. Many people want to shove God out of their minds. They are opening themselves up to very strong delusions because
of their continued rebellion against the things of God.
Many in society take joy in hearing stories about ministers
who have taken a "fall" and commited some kind of sin. A number of godly men and women are also being accused of things that
are not even true.
The public is being programmed to see evil in God's anointed
ministers and their motives. The specter of OPEN persecution is becoming more of a reality.
Today's Christian must be spiritually prepared for such things,
and for this kind of spiritual climate. Open persecution has been going on in other nations for many years.
Now even American missionaries are dying on foreign fields
for sharing the gospel, and for demonstrating the love of Jesus. DO NOT think that such persecution cannot happen here on
the shores of the United States. (2 Timothy 3:12)
December 29, 2002
A SECRET PLACE
This was yet another busy but joyous Sunday with our morning
worship service followed by our afternoon Bible study. Then this evening is a "movie fellowship" and study. But I am staying
in my cell to do this journal and to write several letters.
Right now, however, I must want to say "Thank you" to all of
my dear brothers and sisters in Christ who have been praying for me, and who have been so faithful to do this throughout the
past year and beyond. May the Lord Jesus bless and reward each person who said even the briefest of prayers for my life. I
am so grateful!
These days I must admit that I feel weak in my flesh. I need
to rest in the Lord and to find that "secret place" where I can get refreshed and renewed in my body and spirit. It is time
for a fresh anointing in my life.
This weekend I have been staying up late praying fervently
for various countries, from Venezuela to Albania, and Nigeria to Malawi. There are so many empty hearts and empty stomachs
in this world. Billions of people need a touch from the Lord. They need to know about a God who loves them.
I have also been making intercessory prayers for the United
States and the U.S. Military (especially since we may be at war again in the near future).
I often ask the Lord to watch over our military as they protect
our nation. And I pray too for native Americans who struggle on Indian reservations all across America.
Jesus is the Answer.
December 30, 2002
CLOSING OUT THE YEAR
As this year nears its close I can say with certainty that
my heart is fixed on the Lord. Through His grace I have fought the good fight, and there was much spiritual warfare in 2002.
God has heard my cries and prayers. Again and again, He came
on time to deliver me from my enemies, from those who set traps for me and who sought my hurt.
The second half of this year has been exceptionally challenging.
Back in July there was a parole hearing. The media focused on this quite a bit. The Lord, however, gave me the wisdom to handle
this well. I ended up attending the hearing, not to seek parole, but to witness for the Lord. Still, it was a stressful period.
Then right behind this came the Washington, D.C. area sniper
shootings. As this crime spree quickly began to escalate, the news media and a myriad of "criminal profilers" began to spin
their conflicting theories, frequently throwing my name into this. Yet they all turned out to be wrong.
Nevertheless, my own criminal past was thrown back into the
public eye. My face was in the news practically every day. I had to once again go through the anguish of being reminded of
my own terrible actions from 25 years ago.
Then came some personal trials and situations with other Christians.
I had to be a peacemaker for different parties; it was very taxing and draining. All my strength seemed to vanish. And now,
suddenly, another attack from the adversary has now begun. I will discuss this latest assault in tomorrow's journal entry.
December 31, 2002
I would love to end this year with some encouraging reports
about God's exploits. I was hoping to share in my final journal entry for 2002, a glorious victory report from Detroit, Michigan.
I will have to save this for next year.
Right now, however, I have to address an urgent matter. I am
seeing, as I continue on this Christian journey, that the devil is getting more clever and diabolical in his attacks against
my life and my testimony.
This is no surprise. In fact I am learning to rejoice in these
fierce trials. That the devil is mad at me is a blessing because it surely is evidence that whatever I am doing is shaking
the kingdom of Hell.
Recently I learned that a woman who had reached out to me (back
in October) asking for help in dealing with the issue of forgiveness, had apparently made some kind of deal with the National
Enquirer, a scandal tabloid.
My letters to her (there were three letters) were filled with
words of kindness and encouragement. I tried to share the comfort of Jesus with this woman who, sadly, lost a child through
an act of violence.
I do not know what happened, but the National Enquirer printed
a lengthy story filled with fabrications and falsehood.
When I read this article it felt as if my guts were being ripped
out of me. The Enquirer article was an attack of demonic ferocity unlike anything I had ever experienced previously.
I was alleged to have written letters to this woman that were
confessions to unsolved crimes. That I committted my first murder when I was eleven years old, and that I would have the "urge
to kill" until the day I died.
The entire article is absurd and full of lies. I am praying
about this situtation. But for now, I am simply glad this year is finally over. Hallelujah!