I just learned that a dear friend has died.  "Sister Jean," as I fondly

called her, went into eternity to be with the One she loved the most, Jesus.

 

     Jean was diagnosed with Congestive Heart Failure (CHF) after suffering her

first heart attack in 1989, according to her closest friend, Tammy, who wrote to

me with the news of Jean's passing.

 

     Sister Jean was a walking miracle, however.  When she received her diagnosis

of CHF, her doctor told her that people with CHF "live 3-5 years" after their

first heart attack.  But Jean proved the doctor wrong by living until March 20,

2004.

 

     It was around August 1999 when Jean first wrote to me after she saw my

interview on Larry King Live.  Unknown to me until I got her first letter, Jean

told me that she had been praying for me for many years.  So when she saw me

confessing my faith in Christ, Jean was thrilled.

 

     As a woman of strong faith, Jean's letters were full of good advice and words

of encouragement.

 

     My sister and friend also prayed for my interview with Focus on the Family. 

She wanted it to go well, and I think she prayed about this every day during the

weeks prior to the interview taking place and up until its airing seven months

later.

 

     Unfortunately, however, Jean may have missed the airing of this program

because, in Tammy's letter, she told me that Jean had been in a hospice until

March 16th.   But I know that her precious prayers helped to move mountains of

obstacles from my path.  They definiely assisted in bringing the "Focus" interview

to pass.

 

     When Jean did not answer my letters of Januyary 1 and February 14

(Valentine's Day), I knew that something was wrong.  I began to sense that Jean

was going to be leaving this earth very soon;  and she did!

 

     Then, three days ago when a prison guard handed me Tammy's letter at mail

call, as soon as I saw the envelope with the return address, I knew that Jean was

gone.

 

     I will miss my sister's letters.  Thankfully, though, Tammy told me that Jean

did not suffer, and that she died peacefully in her little apartment.

 

     Jean was a very godly woman.  Two things the Lord taught me by her life were

that one is never to old or infirm to be used by God.  Jean had a monthly

newsletter that she published.  Also, that a Christian will not always see the

rewards of his or her faithful service in their lifetime.

 

     For the most part, since her first heart attack in 1989, Jean was often

physically weak and atired.  She even had several heart attacks since.  Yet by

God's grace, she pressed on.  She never quit serving the Lord until her heart beat

for its last time.

 

     My beloved sister's life involved much affliction.  But her rewards are

surely ahead. 

 

David Berkowitz

April 1, 2004

 

     On March 1st I wrote about a time of change that began to happen in my life. 

Several people whom I had been close to for many years, have discontinued their

relationship with me.  From the human standpoint I do not know why.  However, I

have begun to see God's hand in this, and I am thankful and grateful for what He

is doing.

 

     Christian growth can be an enigma.  There are times when things seem to be

going smoothly and I sense myself growing in the grace and knowledge of my Lord

Jesus Christ.

 

     Then, at other times, disruption occurs.  Hindrances happen.  Changes take

place; some rapidly, some slowly.

 

     Such changes often seem at their beginning to be unseattling.  But the Lord

says to never allow my heart to be troubled;  I'm to trust in Him always.

 

     The Lord, you see, is the Master Builder.  He's the caretaker of the vineyard

with all its trees and branches.  And as a Christian, I am a branch.

 

     Now, although I did not understand it at first, God has blessed me with good

changes.  But at the start I was confused.  I was fearful of being abandoned by

others.  Deep-seated feelings of rejection and abandomnent began to surface.

 

     Over time, however, God's peace filled my heart.  He has everything under

control.  He always has, and He always will.

 

     As the Bible says,  "And we know that all things work togeher for good to

them that love God, to them who are the called according dto His purpose." (Romans

8:28).

 

     So then, even the painful periods of pruning are for a good purpose.  At the

hands of a loving Shepherd such purging and purifying means He is perparing me to

bear even more fruit.  This is all God's doing, and it is wonderful.  The Father

knows best.

 

     Furthermore, during this particular time, I began to realize that I had to

learn how to relinqish the control other people were having over me.

 

     Although I love them dearly, and perhaps one day the Lord will allow them to

come back into my life, for now it is best that they're gone.

 

     Emotional attachments are difficult to break.  So God had to come and do a

work inside my soul to help me to understand this.

 

     Now, though, it is as if blinders have been lifted from around my eyes.

 

     The ones whom God has removed from my life, maybe for a period of time, or

perhaps permanently, were controlling me emotionally.  Probably without even

realizing it, they were placing soulish and carnal roots inme that were not good.

 

     But at some point in our respective relationships, each of them began to be

constant complainers and fault-finders who tried to steer me in the directions

they wanted me to go.     The Lord would not allow this.

 

 

                                           David Berkowitz

                                           April 8, 2004

 

 

     The Lord is so faithful to remind me that my labor for Him is never in vain.

 

     It was a month ago that my testimony was aired on the Focus on the Family

radio program.  Yesterday I received a wonderful letter as a result of the

program.  I will quote it here with the hope that the readers of my journal will

be encouraged to continue serving Jesus Christ:

 

 

         "Dear David, May God's presence be there with you in a special way this

Easter time.  I know you are are rejoicing in Him for what He has done in your

life, and in the lives of all of us who have accepted Him.  He is no respecter of

persons, and, praise God He makes us a new person--'old things are passed away,

and behold all things are new.'

 

          "I recently received a copy of the tape of your interview on focus on

the Family, which was done last year, I believe.  It was played on Dr. Dobson's

program a couple of weeks ago.

 

          "As I listened, tears  came to my eyes again to hear what God has done,

and is doing in your life.  I continue to pray for you and to give out the tract

of your testimony.

 

          "You have encouraged me to continue my jail and prison ministry.  At my

age of 82, and 12 years in prison work, I sometimes feel it may be time to lay it

aside.  But when I hear testimonies like yours it makes me realize that's where my

heart is and where God has called me.  So I am encouraged to continue on.

Mrs. H.W., Mission Viejo, California"

 

 David Berkowitz

 April 9, 2004

     It's Saturday evening. Right now I'm in my little prison cell basking in the

spiritual afterglow of this afternoon's worship service.

 

     While the sunshine and warm temperatures tempted and beckoned many prisoners

into the recreation yard, about fifty of us went to the chapel instead.  For

visiting us we had a 20-member choir who came from the City of Poughkeepsie, New

York.

 

     There is something wonderful about praising the Lord with men and women from

outside these prison walls who have the anointing of God upon their lives, and who

Love Him, too.

 

     With the acoustics in our house of worship it often sounds as if there are

more people in the building that are actually present.

 

     Approximately fifty inmates and 20 guests made for seventy people.  Yet as we

all began to sing, and when I closed my eyes, it seemed as if five hundred were

there.

 

     And as tears flowed down my face, and as I lifted my hands into the eair, it

felt as if my soul was being cleansed.

 

     This group calls themselves "HIS Choir."  Then as we sang and clapped our

hands in adoration for Jesus Christ, the time flew by so fast.

 

     The brothers and my chaplain spent two hours with these Christians.  I wanted the worship to go on forever.

 

David Berkowitz

April 17, 2004